Ask to Buy and family purchases on Apple devices

Ask to Buy is the name Apple gives to a setting in Family Sharing. When it is on, a child who tries to buy or download something in the App Store gets stopped until a parent approves [source: apple-ask-en].

It is the simplest version of a family purchase rule on iPhone and iPad. It is also narrower than most parents assume.

This article covers what Ask to Buy does, what it does not do, and how it fits next to the Screen Time controls that cover the same surface from a different angle.

Why this matters

A purchase that was not authorised is the most common reason parents end up reading the manual after the first weekend [source: apple-ask-en] [source: apple-iap-en].

Two design facts explain why:

• Family Sharing sits between the child and the family payment method. Ask to Buy is the gate at that seam. It does not look at the gift card balance or at an alternative marketplace.
• Ask to Buy covers specific transaction types. It is not a blanket block on everything that costs money. Apple documents the cases it covers and the cases it does not [source: apple-ask-en].

A parent who only turns on Ask to Buy has covered the seam but not the surface.

What Ask to Buy covers

Apple documents the transactions that produce an approval request. The short list [source: apple-ask-en]:

• App Store downloads, including paid apps and free apps.
• In-app purchases made through Apple’s in-app purchase system.
• Shared-app redownloads by a family member of an app another member bought.

The mechanism is the same in each case: the child tries to buy or download. The transaction is held until a parent approves from their own device [source: apple-ask-en].

The screen reference is apple.family.ask_to_buy_root. The deeper path on the parent’s device, after selecting a child, is apple.family.ask_to_buy_approval.

What Ask to Buy does not cover

Three cases Apple documents as not triggering an approval request [source: apple-ask-en]:

• The child’s own redownloads. A child who already owns an app or in-app purchase can re-download it on the same Apple Account without asking.
• Updates to existing apps. An update to an app the child already has does not ask.
• Redemption codes. A gift card, promo code, or content code does not produce an approval request. The redemption is its own transaction [source: apple-ask-en].

A fourth case belongs to a different category but is worth listing next to the three above: purchases outside the App Store and Apple In-App Purchase path. Apple documents that for these purchases, Ask to Buy, Family purchase sharing, and the Screen Time in-app-purchase restriction do not apply [source: apple-iap-en] [source: apple-alt-app-distribution]. That category includes alternative-marketplace purchases in the EU, and any web-based purchase route [source: apple-alt-app-distribution].

The single sentence version: Ask to Buy is a request gate at the App Store seam. It is not a budget.

Prerequisites

Before turning on Ask to Buy, three things need to be true. None of them is the setting itself.

• A child Apple Account inside the family group. A child needs an Apple Account that is part of the parent’s Family Sharing group. The family organiser role is the one that can approve requests [source: apple-family-sharing] [source: apple-child-account].
• A family payment method on file. Without a family payment method, the request has nothing to charge. Apple documents the family payment method as the single card or wallet the family uses [source: apple-ask-en].
• The Apple Account belongs to the family, not the device. Standalone Apple Accounts for children cannot be managed through Family Sharing or Ask to Buy [source: apple-screen-time] [source: apple-child-account].

The first point is the one that surprises parents the most. A child using a parent-owned Apple Account, or a child on an account that has aged out of the family group, is outside the Ask to Buy path regardless of the toggle on the parent’s device.

Steps

The steps below turn Ask to Buy on for a child who already has an Apple Account inside the family group. The first three are one-time setup. The fourth is the lock that keeps them.

1. Open the Family entry on the parent’s device. The screen reference is the Family section inside Settings on the organiser’s device. Apple’s documentation names this entry as the family-side path for Family Sharing settings [source: apple-family-sharing].

2. Select the child. The deeper screen is reached after tapping a child’s name in the family list. Ask to Buy lives one level below the child’s name [source: apple-ask-en].

3. Turn on Ask to Buy. The specific row is apple.family.ask_to_buy_approval. Apple documents the toggle as a per-child setting under the Family entry on the organiser’s device [source: apple-ask-en].

4. Repeat for each child in the family. Ask to Buy is per child. Turning it on for one child does not turn it on for any other [source: apple-ask-en].

5. Lock the configuration. After Ask to Buy is configured, lock Screen Time on the parent’s device so the configuration cannot be edited from the child’s device. The lock is documented in the Set up Screen Time article and in Making Screen Time settings stick.

The order matters. A lock applied before Ask to Buy is configured freezes an empty configuration. A lock applied after freezes what is actually set.

Layering Ask to Buy with the Screen Time in-app-purchase block

Ask to Buy and the in-app-purchase restriction are two switches that overlap and do not substitute for each other.

• Ask to Buy sends the request to a parent. It does not stop the request.
• The in-app-purchase restriction stops the transaction before the request. It is a device-level block [source: apple-iap-en].

Apple documents the device-level block under apple.screentime.iap_block. The switch sits inside the Content & Privacy Restrictions container, under iTunes & App Store Purchases, as the row In-App Purchases. Setting it to Don’t Allow stops the transaction before it reaches the parent’s device [source: apple-iap-en].

Which one to set:

• Ask to Buy on, in-app-purchase restriction on. The most common setup. The request never reaches the child, but a child who finds a path that does not (a gift card, a redemption code, an alternative marketplace) still cannot complete a paid in-app purchase because the device-level block stops it.
• Ask to Buy on, in-app-purchase restriction off. The configuration is request-only. The child sees the request screen and waits. This is the setting parents who want the conversation at the moment of the request prefer [source: apple-support-125399].
• Ask to Buy off, in-app-purchase restriction on. A device-level block without the conversation. Apple documents this as a viable configuration for families who want the budget decided by the configuration rather than by the request [source: apple-iap-en].

What the combination does not do: it does not extend to alternative-marketplace purchases, redemption codes, or non-Apple payment routes [source: apple-iap-en] [source: apple-alt-app-distribution].

”Ask for more time” — the exception path

Apple documents a flow inside Screen Time App Limits where the child can request more time on an app after a limit has been reached. The button label appears on the device, not in Apple’s published settings pages [source: apple-support-125399].

The flow is in a different layer from Ask to Buy. It is about time, not about money. Apple documents the App Limit’s exception request as a separate flow [source: apple-support-125399].

A child who knows the Ask to Buy path can also send a request through the exception flow. The two are independent. The parent who only configures one and assumes the other is covered will hit the gap the first time the child uses the unconfigured path.

What parents tend to ask

A few recurring questions and where the parent-facing answer is sourced.

• “Will the child see what was purchased?” Yes, in the family purchase list. The family organiser can see all purchases made by family members through the family payment method [source: apple-ask-en].
• “What if the child has a different payment method?” A child who has a different payment method on file can complete a purchase that does not touch the family method. The fix is at the account level: remove the additional payment methods [source: apple-ask-en].
• “What if I forgot the Screen Time passcode?” Apple’s recovery path uses the family organiser’s Apple Account credentials. Whoever holds the credentials can re-set the passcode. The recovery is referenced as apple.screentime.passcode.change and is documented by Apple [source: apple-screen-time].
• “Will the rule survive an iOS major update?” Apple documents that Content & Privacy Restrictions can be returned to default after a major iOS update. Ask to Buy, as a family-organiser setting, is more stable, but the layered configuration around it can re-open. Re-check after each major release [source: apple-parental-controls].
• “Does Ask to Buy reach a Nintendo, PlayStation, Xbox, or Steam purchase?” No. Ask to Buy is scoped to the Apple Account. Each console is a separate family configuration [source: apple-ask-en]. The console article walks through the equivalents.

Things that can re-open the switch

A short list of the configuration events that move Ask to Buy out of the way:

• The family organiser removes the child from the family group. Apple documents the removal path. Once removed, Ask to Buy no longer covers the now-ex-account [source: apple-family-leave].
• The child reaches the per-country age of digital consent. GDPR Article 8 leaves the threshold to member states, between 13 and 16. Apple documents the per-country values in the region-specific rules page [source: apple-region-rules] [source: euconsent-gdpr-art8]. At and above the threshold, the child can leave the family group on their own.
• An optional irreversible upgrade. Apple documents an irreversible upgrade path for child accounts that reach adulthood. The numeric eligibility age is not established in the reviewed EN/DE sources [source: apple-family-kids].

The first is in the parent’s hand. The second and third depend on the child’s age, not on the parent’s configuration.

Talking about it

Ask to Buy is a request gate, not a verdict. A child who sends a request is not breaking a rule; they are using the rule [source: apple-ask-en] [source: apple-support-125399].

A few short habits make the configuration land as a rule rather than as a confrontation:

• Name what the request is for. A child who knows the request goes to a parent’s device can also know that the parent sees the title and price. The request is not anonymous.
• Name the exceptions. A child who knows that gift cards, redownloads, and updates do not produce a request can also know that those paths exist and are not the same as bypassing the rule [source: apple-ask-en].
• Re-decide at the next age threshold. The configuration has a half-life that ends at the next birthday above the digital-consent threshold in the country. Treat that date as a configuration event, not just as a celebration [source: apple-region-rules] [source: consumer-ftc-parental-controls].

The point of Ask to Buy is not to forbid the child’s spend. It is to make the spend visible. Visibility is the rule.

Sources

• apple-ask-en — Apple Support, “Approve what kids buy and download with Ask to Buy” (EN, retrieved 2026-07-01). The eligible transactions and the no-request cases.
• apple-ask-to-buy-de — Apple Support, “Genehmigen, was Kinder mit einer Kaufanfrage kaufen und laden” (DE, retrieved 2026-07-03). German corroboration of the Ask to Buy path.
• apple-iap-en — Apple Support, “Use Screen Time to turn off in-app purchases” (EN, retrieved 2025-12-04). The device-level in-app-purchase restriction and its scope.
• apple-iap-de — Apple Support, “Mit „Bildschirmzeit” In-App-Käufe deaktivieren” (DE, retrieved 2025-12-09). German corroboration of the device-level block.
• apple-support-125399 — Apple Support, “How to manage app exceptions for your child” (EN, retrieved 2026-07-01). The exception-request flow inside App Limits.
• apple-family-sharing — Apple Support, “How Family Sharing works” (EN, retrieved 2026-07-29). The family-side path for Family Sharing settings.
• apple-family-kids — Apple Support, “Family Sharing overview for kids and teens” (EN, retrieved 2026-08-16). The optional irreversible upgrade path.
• apple-child-account — Apple Support, “Create an Apple Account for your child” (EN, retrieved 2026-08-16). The child Apple Account requirement.
• apple-region-rules — Apple Support, “Region-specific rules for managing an Apple Account” (EN, retrieved 2026-08-16). The per-country age thresholds.
• consumer-ftc-parental-controls — U.S. Federal Trade Commission, parental-controls consumer guidance. The periodic-re-review recommendation.

[source: apple-ask-en] [source: apple-ask-to-buy-de] [source: apple-iap-en] [source: apple-iap-de] [source: apple-support-125399] [source: apple-family-sharing] [source: apple-family-kids] [source: apple-child-account] [source: apple-region-rules] [source: apple-screen-time] [source: apple-parental-controls] [source: apple-family-leave] [source: euconsent-gdpr-art8] [source: consumer-ftc-parental-controls] [source: apple-alt-app-distribution]