The first week with a new device

The first seven days set the trajectory.

What a parent configures on day one shapes what the child encounters on day two and every day after. The settings are not the relationship, but they are the rails the relationship runs on.

This page is a starter checklist, drawn from the practitioner guides of eSafety (Australia), Internet Matters (UK), klicksafe (Germany), Schau Hin! (Germany), BSI (Germany) and the U.S. FTC. It is the wiki’s landing-page entry for a family that has just acquired a device.

The single most important sentence is in Steps step 1: do the parent-side account first, before the child holds the device. If the device is already in the child’s hand, this article still applies — most of these steps can be done afterwards, with more rework.

Prerequisites

Before you turn the device on for the child, three things need to be in place. None of them is a setting on the device. They are all upstream of every parental control.

• You have a parent-side account with the platform. On iOS and macOS, this is a parent Apple Account in a Family Sharing group. On Android, this is a parent Google Account that can act as a Family Link manager. Without the parent-side account, the controls described in the Steps section have nothing to attach to [source: apple-family-kids] [source: internetmatters-internet-matters-controls].
• You have the household Wi-Fi credentials. The network filter, if you choose to run one, lives at the router. The device picks up the filter when it joins the home network; the filter does not follow the device onto mobile data or other Wi-Fi. Without the Wi-Fi credentials, you cannot configure the router layer [source: bsi-kinder-digital].
• You have the documentation that came with the device. The IMEI or serial number, the proof of purchase, and the account recovery email or phone. The recovery email is what lets you reset a forgotten Screen Time or Family Link passcode. The IMEI is what a police report needs if the device is lost or stolen. Without the documentation, a forgotten passcode can lock the parent out of the controls entirely.

Steps

The seven steps below are in the order the practitioner guides recommend. Each step names what it accomplishes and what it does not.

1. Set up the parent-side account first

1. Create the parent Apple Account or Google Account before the child holds the device.
2. Make the account the Family Sharing organiser (Apple) or the Family Link manager (Google).
3. Note the account recovery email and phone. They are the only way to reset a forgotten Screen Time or Family Link passcode.

The account you set up on day one is the account every parental control attaches to. If you skip this step and start configuring on the child’s account, the controls you set will sit on the wrong account and will not survive the next sign-out [source: apple-family-kids].

2. Decide the family rules before you turn the controls on

The configuration that follows implements a family rule. The family rule needs to exist before the configuration does.

Three rules recur in every practitioner guide:

• A daily time budget. The exact number varies by family. The wiki’s what-the-guidelines-agree-on article documents what the major bodies recommend.
• Bedtime and mealtime screens-off. The wiki’s screens-and-sleep article covers the sleep evidence. klicksafe’s parent evening manual and Schau Hin!‘s media-time agreement template describe the conversation [source: klicksafe-handreichung-elternabende] [source: schauhin-medienzeiten].
• A small list of apps the child may install without approval. The rest of the App Store is “Ask first”. Apple’s Ask to Buy and Google’s purchase approval implement this rule [source: consumer-ftc-parental-controls].

The rule is the conversation. The configuration is the implementation.

3. Configure Screen Time (iOS) or Family Link (Android)

1. Turn on Screen Time in Settings and choose the child’s device (apple.screentime.root).
2. Set a Screen Time passcode that is different from the device passcode.
3. Turn on Family Link from the parent-side Google Account, add the child’s account, and accept the Family Link management permission on the child’s device.
4. Configure content restrictions (apps, web content, Siri, dictionary).
5. Configure daily screen-time limits and downtime (google.familylink.daily_limit for Android).
6. Enable the iOS Communication Safety setting that blurs nudity in Messages and AirDrop for child accounts.

The setting is opt-in on the child’s side. The parent explains why [source: apple-screen-time].

Wirecutter’s 2026 independent test describes the iOS configuration as “confusing”. It warns that settings drift if the parent does not revisit them [source: wirecutter-parental-controls].

4. Configure the home network

1. Log into the home router as administrator.
2. Configure the DNS-level filter (the wiki’s the-network-layer article covers the options).
3. Apply the filter to every device on the home Wi-Fi, not just the child’s.
4. Test the filter from the child’s device before the child uses it for anything important.

The filter does not follow the device onto mobile data or other Wi-Fi. The BSI “Kinder und Jugendliche im digitalen Alltag absichern” page covers the German federal guidance [source: bsi-kinder-digital].

5. Set up Ask to Buy (iOS) or purchase approval (Android)

1. Enable Ask to Buy in the Apple Family Sharing settings for each child account.
2. Enable purchase approval in the Google Family Link settings for each child account.
3. Set a parent-side payment method that requires explicit approval for any in-app purchase.
4. Disable any pre-stored payment methods on the child’s account.

The setting is the only purchase-side control the platforms expose by default. Third-party parental-control apps add their own [source: apple-family-kids].

6. Walk through the device with the child

1. Hand the device to the child.
2. Show the child where the settings live, even if the child cannot change them.
3. Demonstrate what happens when the daily limit hits.
4. Walk through what to do if something feels wrong.

eSafety’s parent checklist and Internet Matters’ device guides describe the walk-through as a non-negotiable step [source: esafety-checklist-pdf] [source: esafety-devices-pdf] [source: internetmatters-internet-matters-controls].

The walk-through takes ten minutes for a primary-school child and thirty for a secondary-school child.

The wiki’s talking-about-it article covers the conversation. The child should know that the parent is the first call, not the last.

7. Book a check-in for the end of week one

1. Put a calendar entry for day seven titled “device check-in”.
2. Sit down with the child and review what happened.
3. Ask what the child tried that the parent did not expect.
4. Ask what the parent set that turned out to be wrong.
5. Ask what the child saw that the parent did not know about.

The check-in is the moment the family rule is renegotiated for the first time.

The ConnectSafely family guide and the FTC parental-controls guide both recommend a week-one check-in [source: connectsafely-controls] [source: consumer-ftc-parental-controls].

What the first week does not do

A first week with a new device does not eliminate the risks documented in the the-4cs-of-online-risk article. It sets up the rails.

It does not replace the conversation. The wiki’s talking-about-it article covers what the conversation looks like at different ages.

It does not cover the school device. The school-devices-and-what-parents-dont-control article covers the boundary the parent-side controls do not cross.

It does not cover the second device, the friend’s device, or the console. The what-parental-control-apps-can-do article covers the third-party tools that add coverage.

It does not cover the moment a setting stops working. The when-a-setting-stops-working article covers the diagnostic path.

Sources

Each marker resolves to a stub under Wiki/sources/ with the URL, the retrieval date and the licence.

• apple-screen-time — Apple Support, “Use Screen Time to manage your child’s iPhone or iPad”. The Apple family-side configuration reference [source: apple-screen-time].
• apple-family-kids — Apple Support, “Family Sharing overview for kids and teens”. The Apple parent-side account and Ask to Buy workflow [source: apple-family-kids].
• esafety-checklist-pdf — eSafety Commissioner, “App checklist for parents”. The AU practitioner walk-through checklist [source: esafety-checklist-pdf].
• esafety-devices-pdf — eSafety Commissioner, “Getting started with parental controls on devices and accounts”. The AU PDF guide [source: esafety-devices-pdf].
• esafety-keeping-safe-pdf — eSafety Commissioner, “Keeping children safe online”. The AU parent advice, ages 8+ [source: esafety-keeping-safe-pdf].
• esafety-resources — eSafety Commissioner, “Parent resources” (AU). The Australian government parent hub [source: esafety-resources].
• internetmatters-internet-matters-controls — Internet Matters, “Parental controls and privacy settings guides” (UK). The device-level controls hub [source: internetmatters-internet-matters-controls].
• consumer-ftc-parental-controls — US FTC, “How To Use Parental Controls To Keep Your Kid Safer Online”. The U.S. federal consumer guidance [source: consumer-ftc-parental-controls].
• connectsafely-controls — ConnectSafely, “Family Guide to Parental Controls” (US). The vendor- neutral family guide [source: connectsafely-controls].
• wirecutter-parental-controls — Wirecutter / NYT, “The Best Parental Control Apps to Manage Screen Time” (2026). The independent test that documents “confusing” and “not infallible” [source: wirecutter-parental-controls].
• klicksafe-handreichung-elternabende — klicksafe, “Handreichung Elternabende: Smartphones, Apps, mobiles Internet”. The German practitioner workshop manual [source: klicksafe-handreichung-elternabende].
• schauhin-medienzeiten — Schau Hin!, “Medienzeiten: Feste Bildschirmzeiten für Kinder vereinbaren”. The German screen-time agreement template [source: schauhin-medienzeiten].
• schauhin-info — Schau Hin!, “Elternratgeber SCHAU HIN!”. The German federal parent guide [source: schauhin-info].
• bsi-kinder-digital — Bundesamt für Sicherheit in der Informationstechnik, “Kinder und Jugendliche im digitalen Alltag absichern”. The German federal cybersecurity agency guidance [source: bsi-kinder-digital].